Friday, May 20, 2011
I came across this scripture in James 3:2 while someone was giving a spiritual thought at a meeting. It reads: "For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body." This really stood out to me because I often feel like I am so far away from ever being perfect that I should just give up. That the idea of me ever being perfect is hopeless. This scripture illustrated to me that the first step in being perfect and good is to clean up what we say about other people. Withholding mean and hurtful words will lead to actions that are kind and loving. I think that the last step is cleaning our thoughts, which comes after we show people that we didn't think highly of before that we won't judge them.
I have a hard time with keeping my thoughts nice. When I hear comments that upset me, especially when the person is being loud, I am quick to judge harshly. Even though I might not say anything hurtful directly to the person, sometimes I go home and tell Michael all about it, sometimes exaggerating a little. This does not seem like gossip to me because I am not intending to hurt the person and they will never hear about it. But Heavenly Father can hear it and that person that I am criticizing is one of His children that has a life story that I have no idea about. They have family, trials, and imperfections just like me. Also, it burdens Michael to hear the tales of wo that I bring home and unload onto him.
I realize that I have been unfair and very hurtful in many of the things that I say. The two people that I have hurt the most are 1. My mom and 2. My husband. Funny how the people you love the most and those who are the closest to you usually end up being the ones you hurt the most. I regret all of the mean things that I have said and even yelled to my mom during my teenage years. I am grateful to still have your love but I wish so badly that I could go back and erase all of the lies and all of the pain I have inflicted. Even though I am a much better person now, I still say very hurtful things to Michael, often for no more reason than being in a fowl mood. I wish that I could erase those things too.
Reading that scripture really changed the way I view other people. It also made me realize that perfection is a very long and rough journey that requires rebuke and change, but it is possible if you take it one step at a time.