Thursday, July 1, 2010

The Refiner's Fire

I've been having a really bad allergic reaction to something that I ate. On tuesday around lunchtime I had terrible, burning stomach pains and I noticed my throat closed up a little. That night I noticed a few red, itchy bumps on my hip and I thought maybe a family of mosquitos had a picnic. But the next day when I got home from work and all of my appointments, I looked in the mirror and was shocked to find a bright red rash in place of my pasty white skin. I was completely covered with raised, itchy bumps surrounded by reddened, inflamed skin. So, naturally, I freaked out and went to the Urgent Care Clinic. It ended up being hives as an allergic reaction. Not sure what it is I'm allergic to but I got a prescription to reduce the swelling and the nurse told me to take Benadryl to reduce the histamines in my blood from the allergic reaction. (that was the first time ever taking Benadryl)
So aside from turning into an itchy red monster with a screaming upset stomach, this month has been packed full of trials. My boyfriend and I broke up, I have a horrible job at which I am severely underpaid making a few pennies above minimum wage and aggressively exploited by the management, a close friend attempted suicide, my relationships with other friends have vanished, my digestive system has temporarily shut down, my finances are disintegrating under my feet despite my attempts to budget and be careful with my money, and I haven't had time to fold laundry or accomplish anything at home during the past three weeks. I can't help feeling a little like Job. As soon as I came back to the church and found the fiery determination to be a good person I was bombarded with trials and tests. This morning I was reading in Alma 36 and verse 20 made me pause and re-think my situation. It reads: "And oh, what joy and what marvelous light did I behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!" That made me think of another scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8: "My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and if thou endure it will, God shall exalt thee on high." Those two scriptures gave me a lot of comfort and reassurance. That as it says in the next chapter "all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." I know that I am not yet as Job. I have a good life and I still have my family and a safe place to call my home and there are many people in this world who have it much worse than me. I am still grateful for my life and for all of my experiences. I am grateful for the scriptures and the blessings and the peace that they bring into my life. But most importantly, I am grateful to Heavenly Father for his beautiful eternal plan. It might not seem like such a good plan while we're stuck in the heat of trial and temptation but we just need to remember that in the end it will all be worth it and we will be "reimbursed" in full for our sorrows with eternal happiness if we keep up the faith and endure to the end.


  1. Once when I was under a LOT of stress, I broke out in hives that melded together about the size of both of my hands together. We never figured out the trigger but I was told the stress was probably the straw that broke the camel's back. I had to take a round of steroids. Soaking in a bathtub of cool water brought immediate relief. I know it might seem impossible but if there is any way you can reduce your stress level that would be the best thing in the long run (from my own experience).

    Where would we be without the gospel, yes? I can't imagine how others endure life without the comfort it provides.